60 Minutes 29 October 2007

Monday 10/29

An hour. Really? How do I even mentally prepare for that? Not sure.
33 days until the big race. That’s not just too many days.
39 degrees. Hard core.
Oh but I just want to go back to bed so badly…

8:05-9:05
One solid hour. SOLID.
today’s iMix:
This American Life “In Dog We Trust”
1234—Feist, not Coolio
Nice and Easy—Frank Sinatra, sly devil
Somebody Told Me—Killers
Block Party—(My legs are at a rave and they are freaking out)
Crazy—Gnarls Barkley
Desperate Guys—The Faint
Hang me up to dry—Coldwar Kids
Too good is true—Rascal Flatts (heard this as I was walking, an HOUR ago)

Woah, my stomach is like “dude, what did you DO! We want cereal!”
I can’t believe I just did that.
The fall leaves are beautiful!
I love the feeling of doing something I’ve never done before. I have NEVER run an hour until today, but now I did it. And now I’m ready for the next challenge. Man, I can’t believe I never got that about exercise before. It’s not all about competition, or at least not with other people. There is something about performing physical feats that you’ve never done before…

Working on a sweet blister on my right foot. Discovered this with about 25 minutes remaining. Tightened shoe, tightened jaw, and decided to experience pain in manner of zen monk. (Did adjust foot positioning in favor of non-pain, however.)

At Campbell and Central there’s an old abandoned bldg for sale, like an old gas station, and I started thinking what kind of business I would open there (with a hypothetical lover. Why do I have to add a hypothetical man to my business ventures?! How very unliberated of me…).
And it got me thinking again about Random Crafts of Kindness…my imaginary nonprofit that somehow combines social networking for creative twentysomethings with helping the less fortunate in Springfield… Certainly something (else) to think about.
Meanwhile, I need a shower. And am too sexy for words.

Huh. “when I run my gums hurt” came back on my blog tracker today. So either 2 people in the blogosphere are having the same problem, or the same person liked my blog and came back!! Either way, good stuff.

28 October 2007

Sunday 10.28
Revelation: I have not worn yoga pants to work ONCE this semester, and it’s almost November. *impressed*

I love my blog tracker…someone linked to my blog through “when I run my gums hurt.” I love it. I wonder who. I wonder if they are now a fan. If they identified with my anecdotes. Hm.

Kinda like the idea of being kindred spirits with total strangers.

Better than the creepsters (2 of them) who linked a while ago through “vagina”…I mentioned it in a totally nonsexual way, childbirth, but you better believe I changed that shiz after that.
Creepsters.

Oye. 26 October 2007

10.26 Friday
Oye. Don’t really feeling like running today. Am dreading the low temperatures and long to-do list. Am making conscious decision NOT to take painkillers, knowing the pain from Wednesday’s run might kill me. Am starting with a modest goal: 30 minutes ish, working on speedwork. Challenging myself.
Oye.

…Well then it was pouring cold rain. So I decided I’ll work out for 30 mintues at home. We’ll see whether that was a good decision. I discovered I can actually almost do a back-bend. me=stud.

Switched on The Price is Right with my cereal, first time post-Bob, and am sad for a couple of reasons. First, Drew Carey is not Bob Barker. He’s funny and friendly enough, but there’s just something missing. That grandfatherly charm is nowhere in sight. It’s like he’s reading cue cards when describing the games. With Bob, it was like he was telling you how to find secret treasure that only he knew how to find.

And insult to injury, there are 2 guys in contestant’s row, and they are both named ExBoyfriend. WTF, God. Seriously.

(I find this last statement funny for two reasons. 1) I still won’t call ExBoyfriend by name, as if that is somehow healthier in the whole getting-over-that process. 2) I just said “WTF” to God.)
(Well, if he’s reading my blog, I hope he understands.)
(Both God and ExBoyfriend.)

I want to be a dancer. 24 October 2007

Last night saw MOMIX with Amanda and her family. Took me out for sushi before. I love that family.

Watching every dance performance I was 100% mesmerized. Want to be a dancer. Kept thinking I would give up cookies and Mountain Dew RIGHT NOW if my body could move like that (and there are few things I would give up cookies and Mountain Dew for, people). So effortless, yet so controlled. Not one of them shaky with fatigue at any point. Even when the guys held a V-pose (torso and legs extended in the air, while seated…ok dancing is hard to do and hard to describe) for at least a minute. Insanity.

Oh and I want to marry a dancer, too. That too.

Seriously, it was all so BEAUTIFUL. It left me with such a contented feeling. Like all good art can do—leave you feeling that life is going to be okay, because there are people who are capable of creating such beauty in the world. And it gives you hope that maybe you’re capable of doing something that great someday.

One fascinating number: the 3 girls did a dance of slow, methodical movements to a Peter Gabriel song (yeah. really.), all the while squatting over a giant balloon (or holding giant balloon in mouth, or dancing around with giant balloon in hands) and at the very end they release it and it floats into the fly system. Helium! The whole time!! Magical!!!
I’m like a little kid watching Disney for the first time.

My heart is full from sushi and beautiful art. Good good day.

Fear is stupid. Stupid fear. 24 October 2007

10.24 wed
Wow, I’m out of practice. Well, the iPod is loaded with a new This American Life all about the senses…pumped about that. Going to try to make it 50 minutes today. Feel like in order to stay on track for my hour+ next week, I need to.
I KNOW I can do it! I’ve done it before, recently. And I’ve been working up to it. I know that. But the fact that I had a slightly off week last week scares me. I’m scared I’ve reverted all the way back to July. That I won’t be able to breathe, that my muscles have all shrunk, that I just won’t remember how to run.
Fear is stupid. Stupid fear.

Ok, now go run.

9:25-10:15
iMix:
This American Life episode: “Maps”
I think spoken word helps on a long run (perhaps I should get an audiobook??) because it’s something I haven’t heard before, and it keeps my brain distracted.

Am so proud of myself. I am walking sex. In that sex is stinky, sweaty, and a little awkward. But still. I am the hottest thing alive.
(Ok so let’s take a little detour into my nerd-dom for a second. I was just wondering if “walking sex” is a common enough term, and wondering whether people will get that I’m being ironic ((and yes I know it’s REALLY nerdy to explain that you’re being ironic)) well anyway I look it up on urban dictionary, and their definition is basically a dude who isn’t sexy but, not unlike Austen Powers, has a certain sex appeal. Yeah, that’s about right. Ok. We’re done.)

47 degrees isn’t so hard to run in after all. In fact, the hardest part was just getting started (and a few big gusts of wind). I think that the cold air actually forces me to breathe deeper and I found breathing much easier today. And keeping up strides easier as well. Huh.

I feel a little now like my body is recovering from a long swim. My skin is warming up but deeper down I still feel cold. I feel ready for a long nap. Oh man the sleep you get at the beach is the best sleep! Exhausted from the hot sun and the cold water and the moving around all day. Falling into a hotel bed is heaven on earth.

Amazed at how not-difficult it was today. The last 15 minutes were hardest to sustain. Keeping up momentum, and the wind was fierce!
Now I’m curious about consuming water and “energy” on a longer run. I feel like such a juvenile when it comes to things like this. There are little packets of gel that you eat when you get tired? Really? How does that work exactly? I don’t even know how to ask these questions! in some ways I am still a tourist in the foreign land of running. I don’t know all the local secrets, and I’m still figuring out my way around it. I’m not sure I’d even know how to read a map if I had one. But that’s one way to get around a new place; just keep exploring it until you figure things out. Asking those who seem like they know what they’re doing along the way.

Ugh. I think the part of my brain that detects when a metaphor has gone too far was damaged in today’s run. I apologize.

COLD! 22 October 2007

Monday October 22
40 days til the big race
8:10-8:50
today’s iMix:
Time—Thom Yorke (downloaded new digital radiohead album last night. Feel cooler than I am.)
Hang me up to dry—cold war kids
Time—Chicago (a theme developing??)
Somebody told me—killers (excited about their new CD!)
Rebellion—arcade fire
All these things I’ve done—killers (my imix is like some sort of poem rhyme sceme…aba, cdc…)
It’s gonna be me—NSync
Underdog—Spoon. (In a nerdy way, this kept me going when I was tired)
Volcano—Damien Rice (nice for running in the rain. Better for napping in the rain. Mmm…napping…)
Banquet—Bloc party
I’ve got you under my skin–Frank Sinatra

Could barely run 30 minutes…not sexy
Getting caught in the first drizzling rain of fall…not sexy
(Though the front of my shirt being soaked might be, a little)
COLD!
Had to make up a mantra to keep myself motivated. Not necessarily from soreness or shortness of breath, it’s just been a week since my last long run, and I’m a little rusty. But I made it almost 30 minutes, then ran more in the rain. Getting back home in freezing cold rain is a good motivator for getting over tiredness.
It started out “I am healthy and badass” then became “I am healthy and beautiful and badass.” I kept repeating it to myself (no doubt the result of reading Eat Pray Love, Elizabeth Gilbert’s in India now) and it really did help clear my mind of any other thoughts, the “I can’t go on” and the “I’m not going to make it.” So…we’ll try a mantra from now on. Helps pass the time.

Today’s run sensual again. As in, “full of senses”, not “hey hey hey”. Smelled krispy kreme, corn dogs, and bbq sauce at various stages. Mmmm….delicious.

Ran underneath first falling leaf of fall. Got really excited as the little orange guy fell in front of me. Not excited about the 50 degree weather after the 80s of the Indian summer weekend (where does “Indian summer” come from anyway? The term is probably racist, no doubt. Now I feel bad…), not excited about the shorter daylight hours, either. But I am excited about leaves and purples/oranges/reds/yellows and sweaters and crispness in the air.

I know that spring is supposed to be the season where everything feels new and full of potential, but fall feels that way to me.

Oh my gosh, I just touched my legs and they’re FREEZING!
Ok that’s it. I need to buy some cold weather running clothes, and that’s final. Underarmor here I come!!!

PS–Facebook messaged an old friend who’s a runner re: race, and he writes back “the last time I did a half marathon was 2005 and I couldn’t walk for a week.”
Awesome.
Inspiring.

the frankenstein stiffness has got to stop 19 October 2007

Friday October 19
I love fall break
9:47—10??
I don’t even know. I could barely run again today. More running/walking/running. But it was a beautiful day, and I stopped by Convey to talk to Jen and Sesha after seeing them drive by.

This was the week of best-run-ever, followed by worst-attempts-ever. I just need to pop the pain relievers a good half hour before running now. This broken-robot, Frankenstein stiffness has got to stop.

It was super windy today, and as I walked back around Wallace, in the too-good-to-be-true sunlight, I shut my eyes and flung my arms wide, imagining that this is what skydiving will feel like, only 100 times better.

Thinking today how I haven’t really kept up my academic side of this blog bargain. Sure I have been learning A LOT, but more through experience and asking questions. Not really researching or reading as much as I’d hoped. True, I still have over a month until the big race (42 days, 22 hours, 13 minutes according to my countdown widget. I love Macs), so that’s still enough time to read some articles, crack open some text books, and educate myself.

I have this ultimate fantasy of turning it all into a book, weaving in running and writing and relationships and all the research and the anecdotes and all that…

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, writing a book. That is my ultimate fantasy. I didn’t earn the name Sarah “Wildcat” Jenkins in high school for nothin’.*

So as not-thrilling as the run might have been, I did take myself down a new route through Jordan Valley, under the bridge, past the scrap metal storage place. Nice scenery. Nice memories of the field trip through the tunnels a few weeks ago. Nice imagining I knew how to weld and make funky sculpture from all the tons of scrap metal.
But right now I don’t need another hobby.

*I didn’t earn the name Sarah “Wildcat” Jenkins in high school.

My legs are angry adolescent boys. 17 October 2007

Wed Oct 17
9:00 a.m.
iMix:
this run sucked so bad, I care not to say.

Ran 10 minutes trying to work at a higher speed, walked 5, tried to run 10 more…
FRICK MY LEGS HURT. As I was “walking” back to my apartment (and I must use that word loosely to describe my physical movement), it literally felt like my legs had to throw up. Like hot and woozy carsick feeling, only in my legs.
I tried to run, I tried real hard, but the whole time I felt like a mechanical toy who was running out of batteries. A little wobbly, a little stiff.

Down Summit I passed a homeless dude on a bike, with old hat, plaid shirt, scruffy old man beard. I was only mildly sketched out by him. Was full-on sketched out when I discovered he’d doubled-back and met me in Lot 7, where I’d shortcutted back because I could barely move.

What’s the deal, creepy dudes? I KNOW what I look like right now, and it is 100% gross.
I feel sorry for the creepy dudes who feel they are getting a special treat when they see me running in the morning. They’ve had a hard life.

Trying to follow Kevin’s advice for getting better at speed: you just have to run at a higher intensity, when you feel yourself working harder you’ll know, and don’t stop even if you want to. It SOUNDS so easy…but I think my 50 minute run killed me today. I hadn’t been sore walking yesterday, but man did my legs go “what? You want me to do that again? What the f*ck, dude?” and they’re still yelling at me.

My legs are angry adolescent boys.

Last night right before bed, I had my first paralyzing fear about skydiving. I mean I could feel it. I imagined myself free-falling through the air, no net, no ground, just sky…and my body seized a tiny bit. My mind panicked a tad. But…I guess that’s the point right? It’s all about overcoming my fears, stepping out of my boundaries, and doing something that “I would never do”. I’m secretly hoping that it’s super profound. That afterwards I’ll have a new outlook on life and passion toward creating with every single minute.
Or I could be so terrified I never leave my apartment again. We’ll see come Saturday.

50 (that’s five-zero) minutes. 15 October 2007

Monday, October 15
the only drawback to being so studly is it doesn’t leave me much time to stretch, write, eat breakfast, and shower before 10:00 meeting…
8:09-8:59. Again, not a typo.
iMix:
Last 75% of This American Life episode: “How to talk to kids”
Signed Sealed Delivered—Stevie
Underdog—Spoon (my hipster theme song)
The Last Time—Gnarles Barkley (as I’m ending run. Fierce.)
Rebellion—Arcade Fire (it’s at this point I’m falling in love with me).

I’m so into me right now. I want to buy me diamonds, a dozen roses, and a round of drinks. I just can’t stop smiling. I almost cried I was so happy. I’m just sa’proud. And it’s nice to feel that way about someone. Even nicer to feel it about myself. Me and me last year didn’t get along so well.

Seriously. I didn’t even let myself look at my watch for the first few minutes, knowing I would psych myself out. I looked down at 20 minutes exactly, kind of like, “oh crap, I still have a Sunshine Run to go…can I do that?!” but somehow I just kept going. I took myself down old routes and new ones (up Campbell. That was new.) And it just got to the point that I knew I COULD NOT stop. It wasn’t an option. I was tired. My legs were getting sore, my feet were weary, but there just wasn’t an option of walking until I did my 50 minutes.
And I have cute-shoe blisters from Friday.
And my right foot still hurts.
And I was so sore yesterday I couldn’t make it past 5 minutes.
And yet here I am. Doing things I never thought myself capable of 3 months ago.

Man, not a bad way to start Monday…

I’ll have what she’s having… 14 October 2007

Sunday, October 14
11:25 a.m.
iMix:
Faded—Soul Decision
I’m Every Woman—Chaka Kahn
I Will Buy you a New Life—Everclear
Livin’ Thing—ELO
Crazy—Gnarles Barkley
Underdog—Spoon
Volcano—Damien Rice
The Way I Are—Timbaland
(based on my iPod shuffle, someone might assume I have really bizarro music taste. Someone would be right.)

Oh God. OH GOD. Oh God…just walking up the short stairs of my stoop made me get all Sally-in-that-diner-scene, but not in a good way.

My calves are screaming for mercy.

So I ran 5 minutes and then walked for 15…since I think there is a difference between “pushing myself” and “shoving myself down and stealing my lunch money”.

Maybe it was a bad idea to try some new tricks with the exercise ball before running this morning…by the way, I’m not sure if there’s any better physical comedy than new tricks on the exercise ball. Hilarious.

This is how bizarrely my imagination works sometimes: I wonder, if my life was lived 24 style, and spies or something imbedded cameras in my apartment, just how unbelievably dorky 95% of the footage would be. (In the other 5% of the footage I’m napping.) Seriously I think the entire show would consist of Kiefer Sutherland looking at me in a skeptically judging way.

Yeah but that probably won’t happen.

Oooooh my legs hurt…I think Advil should start sponsoring my blog.

Hear that Advil people? I keep getting iPod spam comments because I mention that in my blog, so why not pain relievers? I could use some extra cash…couldn’t hurt to try…