What a difference a [nice] day makes 12 March 2008

Flipped back through my purse composition book tonight, and found an entry I’d forgotten about from a couple weeks ago. Managed to have a brief Moment of Zen at Jimmy John’s (yeah, I know). Among all the cheeky tin posters that say things like “your mom wants a sandwich” there was one that actually made me stop and think:

If you do the things you need to do when you need to do them, then someday you can do the things you want to do when you want to do them.

Now if that ain’t my mantra. I scribbled this afterwards: “lesson of early 20s (and, oh god, MID-20s): paying dues, patience with less glamorous portions of adult life, storing away acorns hoping someday it will be spring.”

Lately I feel like I’ve been storing a lot of acorns. I know I’ve also had a lot of unbelievably fun times this year, too.
(Is it possible to be both the ant and the grasshopper?)

At any rate, I think that someday might be on its way, because today felt like SPRING.

Ran some errands across campus, and felt like I was living a commercial for Drury, stopping to say hi to everyone I knew, always saying something like “isn’t it a beautiful day!” Everywhere you look: flip-flops. Outside my building, barefoot boys practicing their rock climbing on ropes between trees. I don’t know what this process is called exactly, though I know carabineers and flailing are involved.

Tonight stopped at Starbucks after a visit with a friend (who is also a reader…first blog shout out!), to discover a new collection of spring-themed mugs and a brand-new frappuccino flavor: honey. Walking back to my car I’m still comfortable in short sleeves. All these new spring developments make me feel hopeful.

And next week I’m off for Spring Break in sunny…Minneapolis.

Stop and think 12 March 2008

Wow.
I’m not even sure how to put this post together.

Came home around 11:00 p.m., after another almost 12-hour workday. (I’m blessed to have a job that offers me flexible hours, free tuition, 2 months off in the summer, unique experiences, fun people, etc. BUT when things are busy, things are BUSY.) I still have some homework to do, still owe a handful of people phone calls, but am too drained. I hop on the internet to check e-mail one last time. There’s one from an old Missouri Scholars Academy friend, sent to next year’s staff, sharing a Chronicle article on the busy lives of modern students. It garnered a few interesting responses today, so I decided to read it.

Here’s the title: Dwelling in Possibilities: Our students’ spectacular hunger for life makes them radically vulnerable
by Mark Edmunson

“Dwell in Possibility”…sound familiar?
(I live for this sort of coincidence and connection, so I’m in. Do your worst, article. I’m listening.)

(PS–I didn’t notice the author’s name until I got to the end, and realized that Mark Edmunson wrote one of the best books I read last year, Why Read?)

The article’s not a short blip. It forces you to stop and think. But that’s the point.

He profiles a typical student of this generation (I’ll include myself in it, though I’m 2 years out…): Always plugged in, always seeking multiple options. He calls us “enemies of closure”, something that—for better or worse—describes me.

“My students are possibility junkies,” he says. Ever-present technology in our lives keeps us from ever being fully present. We’re 8 places at once on the internet. We’re creating our own individual soundtrack with our iPods. We’re texting someone who’s in the next room. Sending a facebook message to someone 500 miles away.

He compares us to Lord Byron (a figure I remember from my senior honors research, described by many as manic-depressive), saying Byron would love this generation’s “fast travel, fast communication, fast relationships”.
(interesting sidenote: “Byron claimed to compose best on horseback”… and I’ve known for years I sometimes get my best ideas when driving. Comparing myself with mad genius? Maybe a little.)

Funny, this entry has started to feel like an assignment—in the best possible way. This is the kind of thought I miss. The kind I often don’t have time for.

Hm. I don’t know if I made any of the points I meant to. It’s after midnight. I’m too tired to edit.

(But I feel like something is telling me to slow down.)

“Society has a great span of resources to assist someone in doing what he’s not cut out for yet still must be done.[...]But life is more than spontaneity and whim. To live well, we must sometimes stop and think, and then try to remake the work in progress that we currently are.”

Train of thought wreck 10 March 2008

How do you start with dying Easter eggs, move to recycling, and get to 90s TV commercials? Here’s how my mind works:

We dyed eggs in RA meeting tonight. Fun. Nostalgic. Vinegary. (Turns out the eggs weren’t so much hard-boiled as gooey-boiled. Festive nonetheless.)
As I was cleaning up afterwards, I felt a little guilty throwing away some newspaper. But it was so vinegar-soaked and messy, I thought the trashcan was a better destination than the recycling bin.
Later on I’m doing some homework, reading The Buffalo, Ben, and Me for my nonfiction class. Reading about this float trip makes me remember my days on a Missouri Stream Team (yup.) and childhood conservationism. I feel even more guilty for not recycling that newspaper.
And that gets me thinking about that commercial. Remember? Recycle, Reduce, Reuse…Close the loop! (Turns out that’s not even the right order. Catchy nonetheless.) I probably haven’t seen this commercial in 15 years, but I figure it has to be on YouTube…
It’s not.
And I feel cheated. Like a piece of my childhood is gone. It makes me sad. And I can’t even remember the dude’s name. (Though I feel like “Dave” might be right.)

March comes in like woah 9 March 2008

Forget Lions or Lambs, y’all. The month’s just a week old, but it’s already been full. Like woah.

Not a good time to lose an hour. I already don’t have enough time for the many obligations, projects, and deadlines that work, 2 classes, countless creative aspirations, and everyday busy-ness add to my to-do list.

And the blog. It just sits here. Day after day. I have ideas, lots of them, but I think I’m not sure which direction I want the blog to go right now… (At the risk of drawing an overwrought and overly-bloggy comparison: kind of like my life.) After spending yesterday thinking/talking/imagining the creative life (at the Self Employment in the Arts conference and at the Skinny show), I’m convinced (as always) that I want to live a creative life. Trouble is I love the idea of being a columnist, designing greeting cards, performing, writing a book, blogging, being a comedian, being crafty / craftivism, studying literature, teaching writing…and those are just my creative aspirations. I have others.

Spent some time rereading recent posts, and going through my browser bookmarks folder titled “creating! fun!” just trying to find some direction, something to focus on in this post that is long overdue. I found two things worth mentioning:

1) In my movie year-in-review I called The Diving Bell and The Butterfly “inspiring, hilarious, beautiful”, and realize now how this might seem a little inappropriate. Hilarious? Locked-in syndrome is a knee-slapper? What kind of freak are you? But Jean-Dominique Bauby IS hilarious, in spite of his bleak, depressing, unimaginable circumstances. (that’s where the “inspiring, beautiful” part comes in.)
I also totally forgot to mention Hot Fuzz, one of the most fun movies of the year.

2) I rediscovered this article I’d bookmarked: “Creative People Are More Distractable” Ain’t that the truth! I can’t get my brain to take a break.

So with tons of things on my to-do list, and even more on my mind, one thing I’m going to do is go outside and run. I don’t particularly feel like running today, but it feels like spring outside, and I feel stressed, so I know that running will make me feel better.

FYI: The race was 99 days ago. (At the risk of sounding overly-bloggy once more: OMG.)