ok i know i haven’t written in two weeks.
And i’m not going to write for two more.
BUT when i do get back in two weeks, I’ll have lots to say
about moonlit accordion music
and gelato
and shopping
and history
and traveling with friends
and flying
and eating and eating and eating
and hostels
and marble
and paintings
and frescos
and la dolce vita
and scooters
and gondolas
and wine
and amore
and all of that.
ciao!
Back to the blogging roots…a few notes on running:
iMix:
The best is yet to come—michael buble
You know me—the format
Somebody told me—killers
Rebellion—arcade fire
The last time—gnarls barkley
Closer to mercury—wheat
Be gentle with me—the boys least likely to
if you really love me—stevie wonder
Running. I’m happily addicted once again. I don’t know how I was able to take a break from it for so long. (Well, I wasn’t able to really. Winter was rough. Stressed, depressed, back with ex-boyfriend for a while. A dark time. Then along came the spring, and thank God life is turning around.) It’s still the best way to clear my head and feel better about everything in general.
I like running after the rain (aside from the super-steamy feeling). The splashing feet, the smell of wet grass. Downtown Springfield in the rain smells like fishing. At one point like Silver Dollar City…you know, the mixture of pavement and plants and soggy shoes? I did learn a handy tip today: you’re supposed to put newspaper in your shoes after a rainy run. Thanks, google.
Sorry I have been gone for so long, dear readers. What with the semester ending, planning for MSA in June and two weeks in Italy in July, and a couple other big changes that are on the way, I just haven’t had the time to sit down and write. Plus I’m trying to finish many books at once…
AND after the recommendation of multiple friends, I started Twilight, a 500 page teen-romance-horror monster that I can NOT put down.
Suddenly I’m 14 years old again. I giggle at the intensity of this high school romance. And also just can’t believe how intense my feelings used to be. The things you imply as a sixth grader that you have no intention whatsoever of fulfilling… (at least I didn’t, and I still can’t fathom that some twelve year olds DO. DAMN!) This book is just delicious. It’s 500 pages of pure literary junk food, and I’m eating it up.
I honestly love that I get to work at a camp for sixteen year olds this summer, because I KNOW that a large number of them will love it too, and we can chat about it and I can forget for a minute or two that I’m almost 25.
PS it’s going to be a movie…check the trailer, also delicious…
But what are these “big changes” all about, you ask? Well, all in good time, dear reader. There are some important people in my real life who do not know, so I feel like I should tell them first. Plus I have to have some suspense to keep you coming back when I don’t write for 2 weeks at a time…
Let’s just say I’m learning that when you say to life: “I’m open to something new,” sometimes life listens. It’s exciting and challenging and a little scary—as most good new things are.
Ok, so I’m a little behind on posts. Please forgive.
Just thought everyone should know, if you search for “bitchin running shorts” on google, my blog is on the first page of search results. Something about that makes me very, very happy.
Lately people have also done A LOT of linking from “Brad Pitt” searches. Lesson learned: mention celebrities, get more blog traffic.
This is another title I’ve been sitting on for a couple of days. Too cute?
This is National Volunteer Week, and to celebrate I thought I’d start something I’ve been thinking about for a while. Use the blog to share inspirational stories I’ve heard, or link to nonprofits that you dear reader can support, or talk about helping people in big and small ways. The big and small ways that people help me all the time. Hopefully I’ll have BLOGIVING posts once a week, but this week I’m going to TRY one every day…because I know if I’m too busy to think about helping other people, I’m too busy. (Call Oprah. I just had a moment.)
Today I’m going to start with an easy one. The blog’s about running right? (or at least it used to be…) Well it sure is lucky that running and doing-good are easy to combine.
In 2 weeks (oh god, just 2 weeks…) I’m running in THE KITCHEN RUN, a 5K supporting–you guessed it!–The Kitchen, and all the amazing work they do for our homeless neighbors in Springfield.
This is super-exciting for a few reasons.
I thought of this title a while ago, and you know I’ve been excited to use it ever since.
I feel like my entries lately are quite sundry and varied, like my thoughts. I don’t post very often, but I do collect snippets on sticky notes and envelopes, e-mails to myself, just waiting for the day I put it together. Like today.
So here we go.
BLOGUMBO. You know, like the soup.
FIRST a movie:
Saw Baby Mama with one of my bffs last night. I can now confirm what many people have no doubt suspected for quite some time: I would go gay for Tina Fey. OR at the very least (as she is married with a baby, after all, and I am pretty sure I still like boys) wish very deeply that she was my older, hilarious mentor / friend. I don’t think I’ve enjoyed myself so much in a movie in a long time, just because I’m like the little kid who dresses up like Spiderman over it. She’s so great! I literally want to be her. And let’s not even talk about the cute outfits and having Greg Kinnear as your late-thirties love interest. It does NOT get better.
Lately I find myself loving when old things feel new again:
Other random thoughts:
AND I’m running again!
I’m discovering I get tired of some songs on my iPod, but arcade fire and ben folds can sing to me any day. My unspoken goal for myself was to feel comfortable in some nike outlet shorts, which I bought way back in December, by May 1. Well I tried ‘em out over the weekend, and I’m only slightly self-conscious over the shorty shortness.
As I’m walking home, I get a little nod from a creepy dude with his window rolled down, and for once I am not offended. Thanks guy with the afro driving the old Honda! And you’re welcome.
AND finally a moment of opinion:
A couple weeks ago Colbert and John Stewart both made a lot of to-do over the absurdity of the media asking, “is Obama an elitist?”, and I agree. I WANT a president who thinks he’s better than me. Please. Know more about foreign policy than I do. It’d be a welcome change. Har har har.
I have been accused myself—only a handful of times, I assure you—of being smug (mostly by opponents during trivia games when I get particularly carried away) or just the teensiest bit pretentious about my book/music/movie taste…and I do place high value on being humble and grateful, but I also value being intellectual, and am always trying to improve myself.
Well, I feel a little more justified after I read an article from NY Times about women and booksnobbery. (okay okay before I sound too pretentious, I have to admit that I linked to this article from stuff white people like, which I suppose is in its own way pretentious—oh we’re so funny and ironic! Link to us and buy our book at urban outfitters! (there’s not a book, but there will be. Learned it on wordpress. Again, listen to me and my obscure facts.) BUT I still love it. and wish I’d thought of it first. So there.) I guess I’ve been in the university system so long that I take it for granted that people want to be smart and learn and improve. But I also know it’s not true. I heard some statistic that 80% of Americans didn’t read a book last year. I don’t think I’m an intellectual elitist for thinking that’s effing insane, but maybe I am. And so be it.
It is kind of deal-breaker. I’m not saying I wouldn’t date a guy if he didn’t read, but I’m sorry, if your facebook wall doesn’t list favorite books I’m going to get a little nervous. If the ratio of books-read to Judd-Apatow-movies-watched in the last year is skewed in the wrong direction, I will think twice.
No, I guess I am saying I wouldn’t date a guy who doesn’t read. I was an English major. I want to be a writer. Books are kind of what I do.
Not that it matters. There are no boys who would’ve read this far by now anyway. Good one.
02.10
In keeping with the new Lent resolution of doing things sooner than later, today I did the following:
1) Read my homework for Tuesday’s class AND Thursday night
2) Organized months of receipts, bills, statements into a real-live filing system
3) Went running for the first time in *cough* weeks
And let me tell you, in case you weren’t sure, 31 degrees is cold, y’all! It’s painful cold. Even when dressed in layers and a sporty knit headband. When I came back inside my apartment felt like it was on fire. And this drafty old place has been known to feel fiery, basically anytime I choose to barely turn on the 80 year old radiators, but not today.
My glasses are steamy, my ears are throbbing, and my lungs are raspy. My equilibrium is thoroughly confused. And I can’t remember the last time I felt so alive. It’s amazing. I only ran a mile, but already that I’ll-kick-the-world’s-ass-and-face-all-my-fears-and-plant-some-daisies-while-I’m-at-it feeling is back after just one run.
My reflection in car windows as I pass is a little rounder than it was two months ago…and I only have myself (and cold weather and Christmas goodies) to blame.
Speaking of facing fears…I was at Target this week and swimsuits are out. (There was also snow on the ground this week. Retail waits for no one.) For years I’ve been an advocate of retro swimwear making a comeback…and I mean really retro. Neck-to-knee. Once again my wish has not been granted, and a variety of polka dot, flowery, stringy, shiny doll clothes are available for sale so that anorexic pre-teens everywhere have something to folic about in at the beach. Okay, okay. That’s a bit much. Just writing that line made me laugh at my own ridiculousness. Then wheeze a little.
No need to panic. It’s only February. Summer is still far away. Spring Break will find me in Minneapolis. I won’t need to think about wearing a swimsuit for a comfortable amount of time. But staying healthy (and the lovely side-effect of not looking gross in swimwear) is a process made of small steps, consistent decisions made every day…sooner than later.
And it seems there’s always a new temptation…another thing I did today: went to the new north side Chipotle. mmm…burrito bol…
December 1
13.1 Miles
2 hours 18 minutes 23 seconds
Woke up from an out-cold nap at 5:00. Got out of bed and realized I’m hobbling just like famed DU dance instructor Joyce Roberts, still kickin—literally—after 60-something years as a dancer and 2-something hip replacements. (I’m a little stiff, but boy am I a badass).
A little unbelievable even now that it’s over. I actually welled up with tears twice during the race. Once right before my “corral” (lucky # 7) was ready to go and approaching the balloon-arch starting line, and again somewhere around mile 11-12 (and not from pain, though boy do I have the world’s biggest blister…).
Notable mile markers/motivators along the way:
–Running down Beale Street was a trip. I’d like to avoid the hokiness singing “walking in Memphis” to myself, but I’m not sure I can.
–Around Mile 4-5, Elvis impersonator singing “blue suede shoes”
–Long about Mile 7ish, 2 little girls and an older boy (with drum set) telling “yo’mama” jokes. Nonstop. Highlight: “You momma’s so fat, she tripped over 4th street and landed on 12th”
–Somewhere around Mile 10, high school rock band singing Wild Thing. No, wailing.
–Also around 10 some guy out in his front yard with the CUTEST cat. Made me smile. Dorky I know, but at this point I needed all the motivation I could get.
–Mile 11. Belly Dancers. Neat.
–Mile 12. A DJ and HONEST TO GOD they start playing “He’s going the distance” as I pass. How perfect is that?!
Song in my head throughout: it’s too late to turn back now…I believe I believe I believe I’m fallin’ in love…too bad that line is all I know of that song…
Lots of signs and cheerers along the way. Clapping, or with cowbells.
–Favorite poster board sign: “you’re all KENYANS to me!”
–Favorite costume: girls in apple, banana, and grape: “Grape job!”
Stopped for Powerade starting at mile 4…I think I only skipped one station between that and the end of the race. The miles through the park didn’t have stations b/c of litter I guess. But nothing was as refreshing as those 2 gulps of powerade. Seriously magical how that perked me back up. The slow-down–pick-up–drink–discard–don’t-stop dance is a difficult one to master.
For the last 3 miles instead of tossing my cup to the side (at mile 1 all the cup tossing sounded like rain) I crumpled and held onto it, then the same after mile 12, so I had something to grip and concentrate on besides my blister (which appeared about mile 5 and kept growing) and my legs (which were feeling it by that point).
Around mile 8 my left arm did a weird half-asleep thing. I guess I hadn’t moved them significantly in a while and they got kinda tingly when I looked down to check the time. I wiggled my fingers and hoped for the best, fearing the worst: a stroke, heart failure, loss of limb.
Wow. Beverage intake details. Thrilling.
I don’t know if I can put any of it into the right words. Or explain what it was like to be inside my head for those 140 minutes. (plus the about half hour of warm up after Jennie got in line for the 5k before my race started).
Without my iPod.
And I’m a little bitter at how many iPods were blatantly used. Rule-breakers. Quite a few. But I’m okay with my decision to follow the rules and stick it out with just my own thoughts.
Which were pretty easily corralled today. I’d say I did a good job in the first few miles of zoning out as much as I could. In between bits of song lyrics until I got distracted again. After mile 5 I thought, “just make it the next 5, then the last 3 are a breeze”. At about mile 8 “just 20 more to 10, then 30 to the end.”
These are the games you have to play, people!! I swear! But definitely my favorite game of all, which started I’m not sure where…maybe somewhere around mile 9 or 10…definitely got me through those last 3 miles without stopping or going insane.
I literally went through the alphabet, giving myself adjectives and motivations for every letter.
Awesome. Bitchin. Come on! Don’t stop now. Everyone’s going to be so proud. F*ck stopping. Good job. Hells yeah! Etc. etc. It’s probably not very professional or hard-core of me, but it’s what I had to do to stay sane. And it was a fun game.
Then running into that stadium and sprinting up to the finish. Couldn’t stop smiling.
As they cut the timing chip off my shoe (have to admit it was a bit of a struggle to lift my leg onto a chair), gave us our silver cellophane “capes” (for body heat I guess…and looking like super heroes), and our medals. Then we had to walk down into the dugouts and up some stairs to get out of there. I joke to the guy behind me: this wasn’t on the course map…
There was free chocolate milk right inside the stadium (best little carton of milk I’ve ever had).
Found Scott without too much trouble, and then Janice and Jennie. In the thick crowd of people. About 12 thousand runners total, plus cheerers on, equals huge crowds.
Took some photos. Triumphant. I didn’t look so bad. Then walked up the parking garage (stairs. punishment.), took some more shots looking down into the ballpark, with the finish line behind us…and everyone who finished behind me.
Apparently the MARATHON winner (as in, twice the distance I ran) came in 5 minutes before I did. Let that sink in. Amazing.
(But we’re all Kenyans.)
Couldn’t have asked for a better day weather wise. Sunny, just cool enough, felt 100% comfortable in my jacket over tanktop and running capris. Kept my ear warmer on the whole time though I didn’t need it, just b/c it let me not worry about my hair. (I may be a badass, but I’m still me.) Lost the gloves around mile 5. Tried (and failed) to get them in a trashcan. It was about this time that Elvis showed up.
Huh. I ran a half-marathon today.
Countdown widget has a little fireworks message behind “the Big Race”. Yup. It finally happened.
Nov 30
It’s finally today. My race countdown widget says “1 days”.
Amazing. There’s this new me who takes risks and tries things she never thought she would and actually enjoys exercise…but somewhere inside there’s also the old me who stresses out at the last minute. At that’s how I find myself this morning. With a long to-do list before I hit the road to Memphis. But a very important one is my last run. A victory lap of the neighborhood before I test my feet out in a new one.
Last 30 minutes before the Big Race. Funny, how during the first 30 minutes of a run I feel like it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life, but once I’m past that stage it feels like I could run forever.
It really is all mental.
I think I have a good trick for tomorrow. For the first 30 minutes I’m going to try to think about nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just concentrate on my pace and my breathing. Then if I need to think later, I’ll start with song lyrics, and then think about how happy I’ll be to call and text everyone afterwards that I did it. And that I didn’t stop. No matter how hard it got.
Today’s SparkPeople mass e-mail is “remember to reward yourself”. Oh don’t worry, mass e-mail. I will…
Nov 28 wed
Omgosh. Can’t believe the race is 3 DAYS AWAY!
And I can’t believe that my brain is playing the “maybe I can’t do this game.” Oh I can do this. I can and I’m going. St. Jude already has my $60. I’ve worked hard ALL semester, and a lot of people are counting on the fact that I’m going ot pull through on this. So…I’m not going to wimp out in the final round.
No matter how much my knee hurts…
Or how worried I am about cold weather…
I am half-marathon ready. Ima gonna run 13 miles on Saturday. This is a big deal, y’all.
today’s iMix:
Lose Yourself—eminem
All these things I’ve done—Killers
Crazy—Beyonce
I will buy you a new life—everclear
If you really love me—oh stevie, sing me songs.
Woman—wolfmother
Over My head—the fray
Don’t Go Away—Oasis (if ever there was a song that makes me want to succeed for the sake of all the failures of junior-high me, this is it.)
Used 2 Love U—John Legend
Autumn—Pico Vs Island Trees
30 minutes today. Tomorrow I’ll do an hour, another 30 on Friday…I should be good…
Then Saturday I’ll run for a decent-length movie.
I’ll run for the drive to Kansas City.
I’ll run for 2 episodes of This American Life.
My knee does hurt. I’m worried about it. It’s held up this long…please don’t crap out on me now…so I am again all Advil, and all comfortable shoes, and all stretching…
Oh boy I’m ready to carb load tomorrow. Bring on the bagels!
Listen to me. “Carb load.” Almost as if I actually know what I’m talking about.
Today I again asked Kevin about what I should eat, how much to drink. Things we’ve talked about 100 times but I like sage advice. It makes me more at ease.
So he rattles off a list of healthy foods (pizza’s okay but be careful of cheese, lots of veggies, an apple) and then “…and a pen to sign autographs.” hahaha.
I said “I’m nervous.” and he said, “Nervous?! You mean trained, pumped, ready, bring it on, I got this, right?” And he’s right. I haven’t worked this long or this hard just to wimp out here in the last stretch when it’s gotten tough. (wow. If that ain’t a metaphor for life, I don’t know what is). And surely the last 30 minutes of the race (the 30 minutes I haven’t ever run) aren’t going to be the easiest thirty minute run of my life.
But that’s no reason to give up.
Not now.
Nov 23 Black Friday
Registering for the Big Race. Feels real now. Real scary.
Waiver: By checking the box below, you agree, warrant and covenant as follows…
(”warrant and covenant,” who wrote this, Moses?)
Statements in the waiver begin with “the athlete acknowledges”…let’s face it, people. At this point I’d pretty much agree to anything that called me an Athlete.
Though there is a whole lotta tiny print…
I also had to estimate my “expected Finish time.” EFT.
What the EFT.
I put 2 hours 10 minutes.
I feel a little woozy.
