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runner’s high

26 August 2007

Sunday, August 26
10:10-10:40 run/walk
today’s iMix:
16 Military Wives—I have to learn to love The Decemberists again.
Failure—Kings of Convenience good!
Gasolina—even better! Reggaeton! (wow I’m in a good mood today)
Shaving Too—Mitch Hedberg
Only the Good Die Young—My legs are Billy Joel’s metronome
Come on Feel the Illinoise!—Sufjan. Love to run to him on a beautiful clear day. It makes all of life and humanity seem more hopeful. Who knew a simple piano melody could do that to my heart, but it’s like the sound version of a peanuts cartoon. Simple, profound, wise, charming, perfect.
I Believe (when I fall in love with you it will be forever)—Oh Stevie, you know the way to my heart…

Ok so writing outside on the porch, not quite the pristine situation I envisioned. And by porch I mean stoop. As if I am the Huxtables in Chicago and not me in Springfield. It’s just too gorgeous NOT to write outside after my run, a little precarious though the whole situation is, given the bugs, the dirt, and that I could potentially drop myself or macbook over the ledge, should anyone come up and scare me. (dear Jesus, no!)

Charted a new course today, figuring on a Sunday morning traffic will be the lightest of the week, and so I followed the course Matt mentioned down Benton to St. Louis, 2 miles round trip. It was nice to not have the mental mile markers of “halfway done, don’t stop yet!” I just knew I was running, and wouldn’t let myself stop until I got to that stoplight. I must try new scenery more often. It makes the whole process more fun to give my mind something new to look at. Lots to be seen down Benton too. Trash down below, traffic passing by, the downtown skyline.

I can’t stop thinking about my blog now. It’s so exciting to know that soon I’ll be doing what I should’ve done a long time ago (ha, kind of like working out). And I also can’t believe how good I feel today. Surely part of it has to be the weather, the not-stifling heat for the first time in what feels like weeks, the breeze rustling the not-yet oranging leaves, the clear pale sky, all the little squirrels storing up for winter. There’s even an old couple sitting at the fountains together. The day just couldn’t get more perfect. I know that fall is on its way—bringing with it all my favorite things…candy corn trail mix, Halloween colors, fall décor, the chill of sweater weather, Christmas shopping, cider, pumpkin scented candles, the crunch of leaves. OH I’m so excited I can hardly stand it.

And I know another reason I’m in a good mood: the whole day sits in front of me, and I officially have NO obligations. No one to meet, nothing to plan, no place to be at any certain time. Sure, that doesn’t stop me from making a to-do list 8 miles long, but it’s all ME on MY TIME, and I am content to the Nth degree.

And, I am in better shape than I was a month ago! I can for real feel the results, if I can’t quite see them yet. I feel better about my thighs, but I think that’s more because I feel better about ME, and my thighs are part of the whole package. I am now addicted to exercise again, and I couldn’t be happier. Knowing how I get without it…the me who’s depressed and sleeps in until after 10:00 and eats everything in her path (well, I still do that last one…) But I just FEEL so much better. I sleep better, and I wake easier and I have more energy, and all those things magazines and Oprah have been telling me all along, and I KNEW all along, are TRUE. SO now I know if I just keep doing it, I’ll only get better, and look better, and feel better, and it can only get BETTER!

Wow. The optimism. I know that something is going to come along to make it all come crashing down. But for now, nothing…not the fire alarm, not my complete confusion over my relationship future, not my doubts about grad school and stress of my job, none of that can come close to the ……..RUNNER’S HIGH! Hold up! That’s what this is. My endorphins are tricking me into thinking life is all daisies and kittens.


Well, that’s okay. If I keep running I’ll keep getting this feeling, and I’ll keep being really excited about life, at least a few times a week.

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