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welcome back, runners high!

2 November 2008

30 minutes
I wanna love somebody like you—Keith Urban
I want a lover who won’t drive me crazy—John Mellencamp
In My Place—Coldplay
I met a Girl—Wheat
Trains to Brazil—Guillemots
This Love—Maroon 5

that, my friends, was a good run. know how i know?

For one thing, I can’t walk. It HURTS. My joints are stiff, my muscles are sore, and walking up the stairs to my apartment took longer than it should have. My mid-run between-gasps-expletive rate was easily at PG-13 level. It’s good. It’s the pain of getting better, and I’ve missed it.
I ran 35 minutes yesterday, and then stood up for 5+ hours for Obama last night, so I earned this soreness fair and square.

You can mock my runners-high-induced optimism if you must, but afterwards I feel like the best possible version of myself. The one who’s capable of anything and full of possibility.
Like I feel after a good conversation
or during a perfect improv scene
or after I’ve discovered a well-crafted sentence
like the universe is an understanding friend. my biggest fan.

[I know it’s just my brain chemicals loving some extra oxygen, but I’ll take it.]

It was a hard run, though. About 20 minutes in I was in some serious pain. SO I tried some mindfulness: I am not my pain. I am an observer of my pain. and by god it worked! I actually felt a little better, focused on my breathing and not on my legs screaming for mercy.
So I tried some more. This time breathing in my soreness and fatigue and breathing out a comfy, lazy morning on the couch.

This particular technique I’ve drawn from Eating, Drinking, Overthinking, this book I picked up by chance at the Park Central Library, all about women’s psychology and overcoming destructive habits. Taking in or accepting negatives and breathing out or releasing positives. Learning to accept what IS for what it is, without judgement.

[Yes it’s hokey and self-helpy. No I’m not apologizing.]

On that same library trip I found What We Ache For, this creativity book by someone named Oriah Mountain Dreamer… [yeah, I’m that far off the deep end. let’s not talk about it.] And yes, it’s also one of those books…she talks a lot about how creativity and sexuality and spirituality are closely linked, and talks about writing “practice” and retreats in the woods…but why not! It’s actually a really helpful and interesting read with lots of writing exercises and jumping-off-points for being creative.

Sometimes selfs need a little help, right? Getting better takes work. In typical me-fashion, I’ve been thinking about twelve big thoughts at once in this entry. I can’t stop thinking about Obama, and how exciting it is to think of a future (for the country. for me.) based on HOPE. and I remember Todd Parnell’s quote from his DU inauguration speech: hope is a verb with its sleeves rolled up.
Hope is a verb. Creating takes action. Getting better sometimes hurts.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. 2 November 2008 4:39 pm

    You go girl! I wish I could run more, but my knees are those of an 85 year old. *le-sigh* I simply will have to stick to cyling for my aerobic work out.

    Despite our different political views, I am also excited for this election – regardless of who is the winner. I am excited for it.

  2. 2 November 2008 9:12 pm

    Running! Ah, I miss it! I still can’t after the surgery but am hoping to get back into it soon. I need too, I am sick of gaining all this grad school weight and feeling lethargic!

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