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banana nut. that’s a good muffin.

29 December 2008

Okay, okay, readers.  Don’t roll your eyes at me; I feel guilty enough as it is.

Another excellent writing idea come and gone…along with Christmas. My tree’s still up; I’m in denial, but I know soon enough it will go back in the box, along with my hopes of having a meaningful 25-day record of this Christmas past.

A little silver lining out of the cloud of self-disappointment: my writing idea inspired my mom to record little Christmas memories of her own each day, quizzing other family members and writing down the results.

That’s something.

Hung out with a good friend (and fellow writer (and once-upon-a-time blog reader…you still out there?)) tonight, who I hadn’t seen in a month-ish. Last he knew, I was excited about my new library job (still am) and nursing a handful of equally exciting newborn writing ideas…which have gone nowhere fast.

Still in the womb, you might say.

To use a gross and bizarre analogy.

ANYWAY he said that starting is the hardest part. And I know this already.
I’m never not writing from a lack of exciting (to me at least) ideas. If you could just SEE the files on my computer, the journals, the piles (literal piles) of stickynotes, napkins, check stubs with IDEAS scrawled on them.
Sometimes right before sleep.
Sometimes (often) while driving.
Sometimes in the middle of totally-unrelated conversation.
Ideas everywhere.
The next step, the starting part, that’s the hard part.

I love and have always loved the movie ADAPTATION because it so captures the insecurities (the sweaty, neurotic moments) of a writer not sure where or how to begin. The frenzied initial idea, followed by periods of self-doubt and procrastination.

Charlie Kaufman: To begin… To begin… How to start? I’m hungry. I should get coffee. Coffee would help me think. Maybe I should write something first, then reward myself with coffee. Coffee and a muffin. Okay, so I need to establish the themes. Maybe a banana-nut. That’s a good muffin.

Well I’ve been eating muffins too long. (literally and figuratively.)
This post alone doesn’t do much, I realize. It’s just self-indulgent complaining (what blogs are for, right?!) unless it’s followed by some ACTION.

Let’s hope it is.

Sidenote: part of my Borders Xmas giftcard went toward Julia Cameron’s THE WRITING DIET. No, really. Creative self help + fitness self help = two birds, one book. Let’s just hope it works.

Sidenote #2: Am seriously considering the Chicago MARATHON in October…seriously. (Not ashamed to admit I get excited about running 26 miles in my 26th year. That alone isn’t reason enough to train for a marathon, of course, but it’s a start.) Another big goal requiring loads of discipline and commitment.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. 31 December 2008 11:41 am

    I picked up that book in borders just the other day and thought it was a hilarious concept. Interesting.
    Sorry you’re feeling down– sometimes its in the wilderness that we grow the most (believe me, I am right there with you right now!), so maybe when you get your inspiration/self-starting spirit back you’ll be even better!

  2. Whit permalink
    31 December 2008 4:54 pm

    So true! This week I’m writing for my master’s exam. It goes a little something like this: Think, think. Idea. Sentence. Go eat an orange. Straighten hair. Think. Check facebook again. Sentence. Answer phone. Think. Eat crackers.

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