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103 Days: Birth Week Day 1

29 June 2009

Woah Nelly I’ve been out of blogging practice and running practice for a bit now.
I blame the heat. I don’t want to run when it’s a zillion degrees outside, and…typing…is also hard…

I haven’t gone on a night run in a while, or any kind of run, so tonight was refreshing. Like a nighttime scene from a Disney film. Fireflies. Moonlight. Two honks from random strangers. The smell of summer (a description I can’t quite pin down…grass plus smoke plus flowers plus fresh air).

As I was struggling to survive 30 minutes, I had a brief moment of paralyzing fear (paralyzing fear moments always seem to occur when I am just far enough from home that I can’t imagine walking in either direction. I have to keep running. No choice). I’m reminded of the night before i went skydiving. I was drifting off to sleep when I had a shocking moment-of-clarity: I am going to jump out of a plane tomorrow. That rug-out-from-under feeling like when you miscalculate the number of stairs and fumble.
I am going to run FOUR HOURS. FOUR AND A HALF HOURS, to be more accurate, IF I’m lucky.
That seems impossible. But so did skydiving before I did it. When it happened it just felt free.

Back to goodness. I love running at night when the streetlights and moonlight are just right, and I can see my shadow ahead of me, cheering me on like a cartoon outline of myself. I can see why Peter Pan got all excited to have his shadow stitched back to the tips of his feet. It’s a magical feeling.

So there’s that. I’m still running. I’m getting serious now, as I sort of have to.
15 weeks from yesterday. The marathon training plan in my long distance running book is for 14 weeks. So next week. Badassery begins.

As for the second half of the blog post title, today ’tis day one of Birth Week 2009.
Yes, much like Elvis fans who commemorate the birthweek of the King, I am choosing to celebrate year 26 with a countdown week of self-love. One only turns 26 once, after all.
And this isn’t some ploy to get more gifts or cheery blog comments. It’s more about pausing to be intentional and think about my life.
The last couple of years my birthdays have become a time to appreciate the people in my life and the things I get to do, much more than the things I get to unwrap.
So that’s what’s up. Some thinking and writing about who I am, what i like, and what i want to become. All coming your way this week.

One thing I know I like is a good book, and I started one today.
My Booky Wook by Russell Brand.

fantastic.

fantastic.

Exactly the kind of writing I like: irreverent, articulate, genuine, hilarious. I especially like comedians’ memoirs, as they seem to almost always have dark stories to tell behind all the funniness. Oddly, it gives me hope.
Reading RB makes me lust after a British vocabulary and slang catalogue. (Insight into his personal story and intelligent writing makes me lust even more after this cheeky bad-boy character from Forgetting Sarah Marshall…)

The book starts in a surprising place—you’d think a celebrity memoir might start with the easy stuff and work up to big secrets—as RB is in rehab for sexual addiction. He talks about the need of an addict (be it drugs, alcohol, sex…food. tv. drama. sleep.) to have those freeing moments when your brain shuts off, when you can escape from life.

Running tonight I was grateful that I’ve found a freeing escape that also happens to be healthy (minus the heinous blister I’m working on inside my right foot). Running is hard, but at the moments when I feel like quitting I can stay tall, breathe deeper, and keep going. At its best, running lets me let go of myself and my life for a little while. My mind drifts, my iPod blares, my legs move, and I don’t have to worry about anything.
It’s nice.

And speaking of addictions…I want to go read more now. Love that feeling. ta-ta.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Brendan permalink
    30 June 2009 12:27 pm

    I like your writing. It reminds me of my favorite blog blawworksitout.

  2. 30 June 2009 7:51 pm

    three things I like about this entry:
    1.) that you like night runs, cause so do I.
    2.) that you mentioned Peter Pan because that is my favorite book. Ever.
    3.) Your use of the word “heinous”.
    4.) That you wrote it.

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